While walking from the
main yard to the IRC the day before Easter
I couldn’t help but think, “what
a bummer, no pastel M&M’s for
me this year” – little did I
know for the next couple of days I was not
going to get any food at all. I am currently
on lockdown 23 out of 24 hours a day. Sometimes
24 out of 24?. Needless to say I have discovered
the main source of my problem (me!)
Attending central court is far from nice,
in fact, it’s the worst of worse.
I told my attorney that if I could not get
out on bail I would not be able to make
it. There was no way that I could go to
Central Court. No way. I was serious…,
my court date came, so I sucked up whatever
negative feelings I was having and made
my appearance I brought an Orange County
Bible with me. While filled with anger the
bible helped me to avoid many fights during
my day at court. Never had I read the bible
before, I was a little curious. The vocabulary
made it very hard for me to understand,
leading to more frustration.
The day was finally coming to and end at court.
I accidentally left the Bible in the holding cell,
I realized as I was sitting on the bus waiting
to return to my cell. I thought to myself “great,
there was my only chance of hope.
I just left Jesus in a holding cell.”
Being told, “No bail again,” and
accidentally leaving my bible behind, I was feeling
I returned to my cell to find “Free on
the Inside” lying on my bed!! I thought
“no way, that’s strange! I left my
bible at court and the very same day a new one
appeared.” I forgot I had written a letter
to International Bible Society requesting a Bible
when I first arrived at jail. (I love them by
the way; I am sending them a letter after this
Joseph miraculously entered my life,
and, on 4-19-2006 I was saved!
I love my new bible. I refer to the bible as
the “Good Book”. I have become such
a better person because of God’s Word and
Jesus’ teachings. Every time I would feel
any negative emotions, I would pick up the bible,
and, by the grace of God, my negative feelings
would turn positive. Everyday I pray to be a better
person. To resist evil and try to portray goodness.
I tell myself God is the only Judge. I look forward
to having dinner with Jesus in heaven someday.
I am just beginning to realize my purpose in life!
It is amazing to me!! ?
I can’t explain to you how good it feels
to be good! ? Now, the many questions I have had
in my head most of my life are getting answered.